Good Morning! A little while ago, well a lot awhile ago (it was August I think?) I was checking on a few of my favorite blogs and saw a really cute guest post on Betsy’s blog: Heavens to Betsy, the guest post was by Rebecca from The Adventures of Bug and Boo. Basically it was an interview between Rebecca and her husband so I decided that I wanted to recreate it for my husband and I after a month of being married. I think I might have us do it again in a year or so and see how the answers might have changed.
Conor and I got married on October 18th 2015 and we dated all throughout high school and college. We got engaged at the Fontana di Trevi in Rome, Italy, the summer before my senior year in college.
How long did you date before you got engaged?
Him: 7 years
When did you realize that you wanted to marry the other person?
Him: it was an evolution of thought over time. Neither of us thought we would get married to anyone when we first met, so initially when we realized we liked each other, I just hoped we stay close no matter what we did. It was some time in college after living together that I realized I wanted to actually get married and spend my life with her in that way.
Her: We had always been best friends and I knew that I always wanted him to be a constant in my life. In college we really grew together and that’s when I knew that I wanted to marry him and have him be a part of every milestone big and small. He has always made me strive to be the best version of myself and I knew that I wanted my partner to bring out the best in me.
What do you remember of first trips together?
Him: our first trip was boring because it wasn’t just the two of us. It had something to do with venturing around long island or PA since we couldn’t drive and it was up to my parents what we were doing. Our first interesting trip was when she met me in Manchester, England when I was competing in the 2010 lacrosse world cup. I got to show her some of the culture of my heritage and we got to explore the city a little on our own in another country. The best trip was our Italy trip when we went just the two of us for fun and we ended up getting engaged at the trevi fountain.
Her: We’ve been together for so long so I don’t want to count our trips to the beach or out East on Long Island so I’m going to count our adventure in Manchester as our first trip. He was competing in the 2010 World Cup on the Scotland team and I met up with him. This was my first time out of the Americas but it was an adventure. He showed me what his culture was like, introduced me to fish and chips, and laughed when I was miserable in the rain… I could never ever live in the UK it rains too much and I got a real taste of it while being there.
How did it go meeting the other person’s family for the 1st time?
Him: Uneventful from what I remember. We went to the movies and I met her parents in a car, at some point after that she met my parents on a similar occasion.
Her: We were kids so it wasn’t a big deal but as I started to spend more time there I realized how loud and crazy my family actually is. Our families are totally different!
What was your favorite part about your wedding?
Him: Having our family together enjoying a nice meal and keeping the ceremony simple. Rachel was beautiful.
Her: My favorite part was seeing Conor waiting outside the chapel for me and lighting our unity candle. It was a great moment for our parents to be included in our small and short ceremony.
What 3 words describe marriage (so far) for you:
Him: Not much changed. We’d been living together for so long that we were essentially married without the ceremony and legal paperwork. We had such a strong relationship going into the wedding that our relationship only got better after the wedding. Since then the dynamic hasn’t really changed but it’s only been two months.
Her: Strong & healthy communication. I don’t think this will ever change because we work so hard on communication and it’s one of the foundation pieces to our relationship and will be to our marriage. No matter what, we communicate, we talk and we listen. Things haven’t really changed so much for us now that we’re married because we’ve been together so long but everyday we work on communication.
What’s your favorite thing about being married?
Him: Telling people that Rachel is my wife and not my fiance or my girlfriend.
Her: Ha! Mine is the same! Well not the same because Conor is my husband. I get butterflies when I say that he’s my husband and it’s exciting. There’s a lot that I love about being married and I have more favorites but that’s especially my favorite. It’s so weird to get used to!
What was the hardest thing to get used to about marriage?
Him: Balancing the time between our families. Before we used to split up if the time didn’t allow us to see both our families during the holidays now we can’t do that as a married couple
Her: Holidays is the hardest thing right now because we used to separate for a few holidays but now we can’t and it’s ever tougher since his family is in Long Island, while my parents live in Pennsylvania. To add more tough issues to this whole thing I have grandparents that live out of state and I only get to see them for holidays, sometimes that’s not even the case and I want to spend as much time as possible with them but that’s not realistic anymore. It’s balance and it’s not easy!
How do you resolve disagreements?
Him: Same way as before, we talked it out.
Her: We communicate, we listen, we talk. We don’t get into huge disagreements often but when we do, we don’t yell or scream, we stay respectful to each other and we solve the problem.
What’s been the biggest surprise about marriage?
Him: No big surprises yet, but we’ve only been married for a little over a month now.
Her: There haven’t been any big surprises yet, let’s see what happens this Christmas when we see the rest of my family as a married couple. So far Conor and I didn’t get to spend Thanksgiving together. 🙁
What are your marriage goals?
Him: Continue to love and cherish each other as we do today, have a family, and enjoy life.
Her: What he said! I hope that we continue to have fun and genuinely enjoy each other and play. I hope that we have a beautiful healthy and happy family. I want us to continue to work hard and never give up despite what challenges we might face together.
What advice do you have to anyone just getting married?
Him: Not much I can give honestly. Most of our success comes from the fact that we’ve known each other for so long and we went through a lot together before we even thought about getting married. At the end of the day even when things look bad always remember why you fell in love in the first place and why you decided to get married.
Her: Be honest in everything, big and small. If you bought something for $20 and you know you shouldn’t have, that still counts, fess up! 😉 But seriously, honesty and again… communication. I feel like a see so many relationships fail because people don’t communicate or because they no longer know how to communicate. It changes as your relationship does so it’s something you have to work on daily. Also, don’t forget to play! Have fun with each other and explore.
I hope you all didn’t get bored reading our interview. I remember when we did pre-marital counseling we were so not into answering questions with another person and being interviewed but it actually was an incredible experience. Who knew? Now we have a great time doing things like these, well I do, Conor prefers to talk things out over writing. Either way, we love sharing a little glimpse of our relationship with you all. Take the time and fill this out with your partner!