Ever since I was little I think I dreamed of having this huge extravagant wedding. I loved to flip through my mothers’ wedding album to see how beautiful and joyous my parents looked and I sat admiring all the flowers and white lace. Before I was engaged (and I still do) I had a wedding pinterest board with picturesque wedding invites, table decors, cake and dessert tables, and send-offs. I had stuff “planned” or really pinned down to the calligraphy that would adorn the RSVP’s and the words “I DO” written on the bottom of my wedding heels. It’s fun to plan imaginary weddings but when you get engaged and you’re sitting there with your fantasy wedding board you get discouraged, or at least I did!
That pinterest perfect wedding probably would have cost me over $100,000 easily, with the perfect venue, perfect dress, perfect food, perfect photos and perfect music.
I don’t want a perfect wedding because there’s bigger things in life that I want.
As someone who is paying for her wedding only with the help of her fiance, I’ve come to the conclusion that I refuse to put myself in debt for a party.
Let me clarify. Things have seriously changed since when our parents were coming out of school and getting married, most millennials are in incredible debt from school and that’s sadly the reality. Our country and our leaders allow this to continue happening because there’s this crazy idea that millennials aren’t doing everything in their capacity to not be in debt. We want to have great jobs, we want to get married, have a house and kids, but we can’t do it in the same “traditional” way now. Things have changed too much, so our expectations and the “right” way to do things should too.
What I want out of my wedding, is a beautiful moment with my family. We want to have a wedding that reflects our love for the world and our value for making decisions that only leave a positive imprint on this world. I don’t want a wedding dress that was made in a factory with labor abuses, I don’t want flowers that came from a company that doesn’t pay appropriate wages to their workers. I want to strive for a celebration that doesn’t just celebrate our union and our family but also celebrates our future.
I don’t want to begin celebrating our future together with having to make incredible payments on a credit card because I needed to have the best of everything for just one day. I also refuse to put off the rest of my life plans because of a debt like that. I have some pretty big plans.
This was a little bit of a rant but it’s been on my mind so much. I know for most they’re not in the same boat as me and that’s fine. It’s a process to be your most authentic self and I struggle when I see and have perfect planned but that isn’t the reality and that’s a reality that I don’t actually want anyway.